By: Maalvika Bhuvansunder
Living on your own in a new and beautiful country sounds like one of the best things that could happen. For individuals with a lifelong debilitating illness like IBD, it can be extremely scary to live alone. The independence could come at a cost as there is a lot that could go wrong, but there is also so much that can go right!
My journey began with a lot of uncertainty, all these questions: Should I even be doing this? Would I survive without my parents there? What do I do if I have a flare? How would I manage cooking when in flare, and so many more. I had never even slept over at a friend's place since the diagnosis, as my home was my haven, let alone move to a completely different country! This was when my parents stepped in and explained to me, this was my dream to go to the UK and to pursue it no matter what. To make things easier, my dad travelled with me to the UK and helped me settle in.
One of my biggest fears going in was, how would I make friends with this condition, would I even have the energy to make new friends? I decided to keep my fears aside and to be candid about my condition. It was not worth it for me to make friends who would not understand my situation, and I’d rather not have such friends. Being candid truly paid off in the best way possible! The friends I made there were understanding of my condition and acknowledged that with this condition, there are certain limits. They always found a Crohn's friendly alternative for us to do and never made me feel inferior. I remember having one of the worst flares I had experienced there and being worried about how was I going to tackle this. Let me tell you all that it was the moment after the flare that gave me the confidence that I GOT THIS! I survived a flare alone for the first time, and although it seems weird that something like this made me so happy, that’s what I was: happy. My friends who were in the UK constantly checked up on me and so did my new ones. It gave a sense of relief that although, to a large extent, I have to deal with this alone, I had people who I could turn to at such times.
Just when I thought I got this and I can handle everything, the biggest crisis we all faced hit, the PANDEMIC. I had plans to go back home, but the flights were suspended. I was in shortage of medicines and every supermarket was in shortage of food. I genuinely did not know how I was going to survive this. Calling home and crying about it my mom gave me the best advice, either I can cry at this situation or see how to manage the crisis. I contacted all the nearest clinics and found to my relief that the one closest to me was open. The first thing I did was meet the doctor and stock up on the meds. As for the food, well, Mom to the rescue. Within a day, she couriered all necessary items and made sure I had enough stock to last me for months. Another thing that helped me get through this was my friend. She was studying in another city in the UK, and we decided the best thing to do was to be together during this time. Together, we made sure to make the best of the situation and be each other's support at that time. She was a lifesaver! I do not think I could have survived the pandemic on my own.
IBD had taken a lot away from me, but I am glad I took this step despite all the fear and apprehension. Living in a new country turned out to be the best decision of my life. I got to pursue what I had always wanted to and learned a lot about myself. This experience was needed for me to have the confidence that I can manage things on my own.
There are a few simple steps one can take to make sure our journey in a new country goes smoothly. In collaboration with one of the fellows, we are coming up with a handbook containing useful information for anyone deciding to move to a different place for their studies. Hopefully, you all have the same amazing experience I did!