“Making mental health a priority in the puzzle of figuring out an IBD or any chronic illness diagnosis is vital to providing holistic health care to patients. ”
Having a chronic illness is so hard on the body. The constant pain or fear of pain can consume your life. For me, when I go to the gastro doctor the symptoms that have meant I am doing well are: are my bowel movements regular, can I keep food down and does my stomach feel okay. Through this journey it always felt like a piece of the puzzle was missing. When I was first diagnosed, I was always feeling sad, misunderstood and angsty. When I was going through my first flare ups I noticed I would become more sad and lonely than the usual sad and lonely. Dealing with a chronic illness and body pain is an isolating experience already and on top of it all processing the mental turmoil of diagnosis and life can feel unbearable.
I first went to therapy when I was 13, three years after my Crohn’s diagnosis. Therapy can be a very overwhelming experience. It is expensive and insurance companies so often make it an even harder process to navigate. The healthcare system in the United States of America is blatantly set up to scare you away from being any sicker than you are and resources for finding mental healthcare can be scarce, especially if you do not live in a big city. Not to mention the societal disapproval of seeking help is so strong.
After overcoming all these barriers to mental health care and my family hearing and understanding me after stating my need for mental support, my mother and I started the search for a therapist. We were new to this whole therapy thing and were on our own to figure it all out. We failed to acknowledge the many types of therapy and that the styles and process of therapy vary vastly. I have been through my fair share of therapists to say the least. It was hard enough to see one let alone find a therapist whose practices best uplifted my functionality. Especially living in a smaller town, it was hard to find someone who understood the trauma of being a young person with a chronic illness. Many times therapists would reinforce the adult disbelief of my sadness and hurt, an experience all too common with my other doctors. The trauma that comes with disbelief is off putting enough to avoid help. I did indeed find the right therapist for my young self and was able to stabilize my depression and grow comfort and knowledge from my experiences.
As I grow older, I have much more complexity to my identity. So, it can be more complicated finding a therapist to support me in all my identities. Living in Chicago has helped open a door of resources that include free or sliding scale therapy and group therapy that allows me to work on my depression and anxiety everyday. I have recently found the right process for myself which takes the form of art therapy. It has taught me the ability to harness a practice. Creating something out of fabric is a way in which I am able to culminate anxiety or put importance elsewhere. Physical creation brings clarity to many life situations and it allows me to explore my pain through art.
Reflecting back, I am so thankful to have parents that heard me when I said I needed help and support from a mental health professional. I needed help processing the bodily trauma that happened in such formative years in my life. Without therapy, there would have been no emphasis on my mental health at my GI doctor’s appointments because it was never addressed. I would have greatly benefited from a psychologist on staff at the gastro doctor or at least a referral after being diagnosed. Making mental health a priority in the puzzle of figuring out an IBD or any chronic illness diagnosis is vital to providing holistic health care to patients.