By: Carina Diaz
FYI, this is about brain fog (in case you’re confused about the title). It’s one of the most complicated symptoms to explain to able-bodied people, along with fatigue. Because anyone can feel those things, right? Well … kind of. A person with IBD experiences it very differently.
Since being on inflectra and having ileostomy surgery, my brain fog hasn’t been too bad, but it’s still something I feel often. Sometimes when I’m having a conversation with someone, it’s like my brain glitches for a moment, and I not only have to remember where I am, but what I was even saying a second ago. It causes me to stumble over my words and say “um” a lot. So much for sounding articulate. It also conveniently happens a lot at doctors appointments.
It’s true that anyone can have moments like these, but when you have IBD it’s a more common occurrence. I can get a full night’s sleep, eat right, exercise, and take care of myself as much as possible, but brain fog will still happen. I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve opened an app on my phone or walked into a room just to forget what I’m doing in the first place.
This is a very hard symptom to put into perspective. It almost sounds like it’s not that big of a deal. Especially when compared to the laundry list of awful symptoms that IBD can bring. So let me try to paint a picture. For me, brain fog is like a cloud that follows me. Some days it’s big and other days it’s barely visible, but it’s still always following me around. I’ve learned I need to write everything down in my notes app and use Google Calendar to keep track of work and appointments, or else I’ll forget everything in an instant.
Brain fog mostly affects me in social situations. It’s very hard to follow along with conversations that involve multiple people. It’s as if existing, breathing, listening, and thinking are all too difficult to do at once. It tires me out, and the only thing I can really do about it is to take time to rest.
Instead of my brain forming thoughts, it feels like a big empty space. Or sometimes it’s the opposite and turns into that one episode from SpongeBob where there’s multiple filing cabinets on fire and he’s running around frantically. Nickelodeon
It also makes it difficult for me to communicate. The process of thinking thoughts, forming those into words, and then my mouth saying them becomes quit tedious.
It can be easy some days to feel very frustrated about dealing with this. These are some things that help me to deal with this symptom:
Being gentle with myself
Doing a brain dump in my journal or a voice note on my phone
Leaning on my community
Taking a nap
Brain fog is a friend I didn’t ask to make, so I just try my best to use the coping skills that I’ve learned over the years.